Day 12: waterpark sausages and superpowers

Without fail, I have now woken up between the 15^th and 19^th minute of every evening and morning hour for the past three days. I was at a loss as to how this could possibly be so regulated, but then I remembered that I have magic coursing through (or maybe, camping in) my veins. 

I am currently experiencing the joys of both esophagitis and mucositus, which leaves my throat in shreds and my mouth watering constantly—which, if I permit myself to swallow (or more likely, Autopilot compels or Gag Reflex demands) feels like a sloppy ninja with a sharp knife. This often ends with acute nausea, not to mention the intense pain, so I’ve stopped swallowing altogether. They’ve given me one of those spit things from the dentist, Mr. Sucky (aka Mr. Thirsty) that, as gross as it sounds and most certainly is, is helping tremendously. So, if you hear something akin to the guttural groaning of Frankenstein’s monster, followed by disgusting sucking noises: it’s probably just me, flailing in my own saliva. oh joys abound. And if you like this flowery description, you’re gonna love what’s coming next!

I am Bloated Sausage Girl today. The newest superuseless superpower: the ability to bloat parts of your body at will. Because I can’t drink anything (or eat anything, but drinking is the most desired thing right now, SO THIRSTY) they have me on lots of extra IV fluids to keep me hydrated (STILL SO THIRSTY). However, my body doesn’t know what to do with all the extra fluid. So instead of being a pal and quenching my thirst, it’s decided to be a jerk and make my fingers and toes and legs the unwilling recipients. Yes, I did always think my hands looked like water balloons FILL ‘EM UP.

My nurse keeps telling me that I am doing better than most other patients, some of whom are bedridden for many days and are not as active as I have remained. You don’t realize how big of a deal showering actually is until it’s the highlight of your day… She also keeps reminding me that all will return to normal, eventually. Until then I will continue to be so thirsty, and dryyyy, and bloaty, and also hungry because I haven’t eaten in two days. But for some reason it’s the thirst that’s getting to me. Mr. Thirsty and I have a lot to talk about. Food? Forget it, gimme the water.